Sad but possibly true:

The glory that is Grey’s Anatomy is very likely a fluke for poor Shonda Rhimes, who has proven herself incapable of basic story elements over on Private Practice. Or else there’s an idiot at the helm in her absence.

Dear Shonda: Please fire Betsy Beers.

I know heading two — soon to be three — shows is a royal bitch. At least I can guess it. Taking two online college courses is doing my head in; showrunning must be worse. However, you appear to have left Private Practice in the hands of someone who wants to see it canceled. How else am I supposed to rationalize away the terrible writing?

>> Addison Montgomery: Man-Killah. Every guy she dates turns into an asshole. Pete? Asshole. Sam? Asshole-in-progress. The thing is that I don’t feel as bad for her as I should. Sam’s got a right not to be a daddy if he doesn’t want to be. It’s just that he needs to acknowledge that Addison wants something else, do Addison a favour, and go find a woman who is also done bearing children.

>> The eugenics story should not have come out in favour of eugenics. You did an ~edgy~ story about a woman who was obviously less suited to motherhood than most, but you didn’t exactly round her into a person. What you created was a straw man. You took the most despicable traits you could think of, stuck them in a much-maligned stereotype (ex-addict, poor, bushy eyebrows), and proceeded to make paying women to get their tubes tied look ethical. Hint: the concept of the undeserving poor died with Queen Victoria. Let it stay buried.

>> Speaking of Victorian times: I really and truly feel for any woman on that show who dares to be something that isn’t socially acceptable. The female lawyer refusing to take Charlotte’s case based on, and I can’t believe this, a straw rape victim? Amelia being told to “filter” all the time, even though she’s the voice of sanity in that practice? Naomi pretty much being the last recognisable original cast member? (And how much did you get paid to insert the phrase “eat, pray, love” into the script repeatedly? I still think it’s crap, so the product placement failed.)

>> And by the way, Amelia’s confusion over everyone being baby-crazy is totally okay. It would be okay even if she weren’t the youngest doctor there. Not all of us are made to be mamas. Some of us do want to play poker, drink beer, and talk about whatever comes to mind.

>> I think the one thing you got right was Cooper being fucked up by the rape. I resent that you had to turn him into a slimeball to get that across. I love that Sheldon saw it coming way back around the half-hour mark. I would probably marry both Sheldon and Amelia right now, just for the record, because their flaws I can live with. Their flaws do not make me want to break things.

>> I feel kind of bad that I laughed near the end. Cooper punches a guy, the guy takes steps to have him prosecuted, which is sane. Same guy goes for his wife, fists swinging, when she turns out to be the Big Bad? Admittedly, it was laugh or cry for that poor child who put on three hundred pounds because his mom was molesting him, and I like that his dad admitted to fucking up. I was never molested, but my parents have never really admitted that they were kind of not there when I needed them. Ever. And the kid being told it’s okay to be angry over that also made my year.

>> Why’d you go and drop the storyline that had Naomi choosing between two brilliant men? Last anyone heard, she was looking after her first choice, the one who was dying! What, did he bite it while everyone was having drama back in California? And what about the other guy? Were your viewers not responding to an awesome portrayal of a disabled man who wasn’t some kind of fucking angel? You know, a gimp who got to be a person too? He was growing as a character into someone I’d have liked to see more of.

>> Are there going to be any Naomi-shaped consequences for Pete, who pretty much told Violet “No, we can’t do right by Dell’s daughter because we need to be a couple”? I know I’m devoid of all motherly instincts, here, but Naomi’s not. I’m glad she went to Charlotte and reached out, in fact. Naomi, Amelia, and Sheldon: the only three people in Charlotte’s life who are actually thinking of Charlotte’s needs. (Cooper tries. Cooper is also broken. He is excused.)

Your show gets worse every week. You cannot possibly start another one when this one is so screwed up. If you must, please, please start paying attention to what goes out on the airwaves. I’ve been with you through all of Grey’s. I know you can handle sensitive issues with more finesse than this.

Cautious love —

C.

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