somebody leave a light on

Everything is strange here. My mother’s gone to Germany for two weeks (she’ll be home Nov 3) and my partner is in England until Saturday. Disconcerting. Not, however, quite as disconcerting as dealing with my father’s circadian rhythms. He goes to bed at nine-thirty! Since I’m creeped out by the empty downstairs, this means I’m pretty much stuck in my room, except for a quick valerian-in-apple juice run (pending). Meanwhile, I am surrounded by cats: Trixie at the foot of the bed, Addy wedged between a pillow and my laptop where it meets my leg. She is lying, no joke, with her spine twisted into a C, belly forming the outer curve. Both arms in the air. Presumably, both legs as well.

When Addy’s sleepy, she’s sweet. I can bend over her and give her forehead kisses, telling her how dear she really is. She has a hard time when she’s fully alert; she’s like me, too ready to take on the next threat. She also has knives at her fingertips, whereas I pretty much avoid sharp objects for my own safety. You see how being tender to her is really very tricky. All the same, Addy is the one who follows me wherever I go. Addy is the one who most often butts up against me in the night. Addy licks my face to get me to wake up, and if I can’t wake, she stays with me. Does she believe she’s keeping me safe?

In non-cat news, Day 1 of the first altered-time experiment has gone well. I can’t make heads or tails of the 3QSR or whatever the hell that alternate notetaking method is called, but promising myself 15 minutes a day on each subject, minimum, means I get something done no matter how I’m feeling. I installed SPSS on my “work” computer today (ha, sometimes this semester feels like a full-time job). I finished reading Chapter 6 in the Essau, which was actually easy because it was a chapter on eating disorders, and I have enough experience there, goodness knows. I finally turned in that journal entry for Disabled in America. Never thought I’d use my little green abnormal psych relic from 1929 in an assignment! I even got in a discussion post on time management strategies.

I’ve wiped my personal slate clean. I am not going to hold myself responsible for what has passed. It’s time to focus on what’s next instead of playing catch-up.

It’s also time I went downstairs and took my valerian. ‘night, all.


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