Grin and slug ’em

I could cheerfully punch the whole lot of doctors who missed this, you know. Sock ’em straight in the teeth. That for your reliance on my psych history to explain it all! That for your bloody-mindedness that’s got my life on hold! It’s not fucking fair and I am upset! It was a great shock made all the worse by the spectacular failure of my first attempt at treatment. Oh, God. Next year as an extension of that week. I’d almost rather the bug killed me.


i’ve been a fool / and i’ve been blind

Spoilers for the season finale of Covert Affairs. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED.

Oh, Annie. Oh, Auggie. Ever since Season 1, this show has been “Annie-and-Auggie time!” For me, anyway. Said in a toddler voice, like my mum is popping in that VHS of The Lion King YET A-FUCKING-GAIN and might I add, I wish I’d been malicious enough to destroy that one copy.

But this is not about my deep-seated childhood issues.

This is about the imagery.

You see, I am one of Those People who knows a song in the first few bars, at least if it’s a favorite. Which “Shake It Out” totally is. They gave us this gorgeous bass line and I was interested. Auggie’s journey wasn’t over after Miss Africa, evidently. No, he wanted to see if his eyes could be fixed. (Like they need fixing. Auggie, darling, you are ten thousand kinds of brilliant.) It’s always darkest before the dawn. And they can’t be fixed. So he’s ready to suffer and ready to hope.

But I will point you to the lyric from the beginning. It’s like they’re both talking, Annie and Auggie. Well, Auggie first. “I’ve been a fool.” “And I’ve been blind.” Because Annie’s the one who couldn’t see everything about the two of them that seemed obvious to me, and Auggie was all hung up on someone who has just given him the brush-off for Africa. Look, Eritrea is a worthy place to go, but I’m sayin’ if a woman would rather be there nownownow than work out a way for you to go with, she’s telling you something important. And there is a woman back home who is equally suitable.

If the two of them play their cards right, Annie and Auggie could be Joan and her husband without the fuckups in the middle. They could own the Agency. They have a spark I envy, a spark I looked for for years. I found it in many unsuitable men, and then I found it in Darling. That’s how strong I spark with people: years’ worth or not at all.

This is very much about my deep-seated need to spark, I guess. That’s what the kids are calling it these days, right?

So spark a fire, guys. Please? For someone who saw a lot of fires die before they passed the ember stage?

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