A question of balance

Discord, too, is human.

A thought flitted through my mind during an argument today. It’s Beltane. Why are we fighting? Just a thought, and a pang of disappointment in myself. I could offer any number of excuses:

Oh, hormones.
Oh, hot-button topic.
Oh, woman things.

Of those excuses, the second one is the closest to valid, but really? None of them are.

Beltane is a day like any other. The divine is the mundane is the divine; the universe is in us as much as it’s too vast to imagine. We don’t stop existing as humans simply because it’s a holy day. We can try to be more human to each other, which is an excellent goal indeed, but we don’t stop feeling what we feel.

So if I’m upset and he’s upset, we’ll fight, and it’ll be healthy because otherwise we’re stifling what makes us who we are. We’re hiding our emotions behind masks. Nobody can live behind a mask. Exist, sure, but live? What is Beltane if not a celebration of life? What is life if not a balance between harmony and discord? I mean, why else would so many philosophies come with dualities–yin and yang, Heaven and Hell? (Not that they’re analogous to each other. Just that there are dualities.)

I’ll love him no less for our differences. I’ll love him more because we have them and they don’t tear us apart. This, too, is human. This, too, is real. I have been around people who agreed with me solely because they wanted to. I do not need a chorus of affirmations. I need reality, humanity, in all its variations. Harmony and discord. Lacking one, the other means nothing.

That is my place in the universe. That is the lesson today, when the veil is thin. We are made of duality. I am a balance of elements, and I embrace them individually just as I embrace what they form. I, too, am human. May I never forget it.

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