Dear Rev. Al Sharpton,
I am fresh out of grandparents, which considering I had six is quite the feat. Therefore, I am bestowing upon you the title of Honorary Granddad, because you are dead cool and not afraid to talk about the things that matter. I don’t even mean just the things that matter to me personally. I mean the issues that we’re all dealing with, like lawmakers up in our ladybusiness, the vast gulf between the top and the bottom in terms of income, and rude, crude talk radio hosts who need their mouths washed out with soap. Very rough soap.
Keep being nifty!