fourteen again.

I think I do sometimes wish I could go back in time and… tweak.

Even if I don’t make the giant tweaks, who knows what the little ones might do? What if, for instance, I had a makeover the summer before ninth grade? Smaller glasses (or contacts), working through the awkward period between pixie cut and stylish bob, clothes that were both cheap AND stylish? What if I’d realised a little sooner how difficult “blatantly strange” makes a young girl’s life?

What if there had been a Rookie when I was fourteen?

I dreamed last night that I was only normal, only me. Only a perfectly plain girl with not-so-plain ideas. Lots of textbooks, always a bit short on lunch money (wheedling a quarter from my friends), planning to get my learner’s permit at sixteen and my license by seventeen, if not a car.

Me. But quietly me, the way I am now.

I wonder what would have changed?


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