question “equality”

if women would stop pretending to be men… (Gavin McInnes)

Yes. — I should qualify this: I don’t think anyone should be anyone s/he isn’t.

I hate what second-wave feminism did to gender roles. It didn’t make room for anyone except mini-men. I like men! Don’t get me wrong! I don’t want to be one, that’s all. There’s all this fuss about there not being enough women in some fields, and I feel like I’m betraying women sometimes because those fields don’t appeal to me at all. I don’t want to be an engineer or an IT genius. I could see myself in science, sure, if math made more sense to me, and if math came naturally maybe I would be a scientist. It doesn’t. I have to really work at it in order to make sense of it.

Shouldn’t I be encouraged to do what comes naturally, provided it will also earn me an income? It took me almost a decade after high school to decide I wanted to go into social work — why? Because it pays poorly? Because there’s nothing really glam or prestigious about going in and being love in places that have not been loved for, well, ever?

Or if I was going to do something natural, it was always all about the money. I have news for you, guidance counselors: exploiting the talent that brings you joy sucks all the joy out of it. Writing to the market means writing things I loathe and wouldn’t read if you paid me to read them. (Except as a first reader with a red pen.) Marketing could be fun, in a Reggie Perrin sort of way. If it’s really more cutthroat than that, I don’t think I’d survive. I can’t do cutthroat.

I am all for people being people. What I am not for is this push for “equality” at all costs. I think as long as you’re pragmatic about what you want, and understand that you’ll have to support yourself eventually or help support a household, you should do it and forget what’s expected of you.

I am not equal as long as other women, in certain other fields, are automatically held up as examples of what I ought to be.

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One thought on “question “equality”

  1. I think part of the reason why it’s stressed is because for so many years, and even to a certain degree today, everything was working against women going into those types of jobs. So it’s still considered necessary to try and push that more, rather than the ones that are already considered part of the sphere of things women do. And sort of lost in that message (though I have seen more people extolling this view recently) is that it really is about being able to choose what works for you, not what promotes women or whatever.

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