23 trends guys supposedly hate + some I actually hate, too


Peplums: No. Ugly.
Beanies: wait, Smurf hats?
Wedge sneakers: Inextricably linked to those Daddy’s Money sneakers for me, sorry.
Floppy hats: Useful in summer, somewhat absurd any other time of year.
Open-side shirts: Actually cute.
Bright lipstick: Fuck you, I’m wearing the shades I like since I only kiss Eleven with this mouth.
Heavy eye makeup: Okay, it does depend on your definition of “heavy”. Girl #1 works it because she went easy on the lip. Girl #2 works it because it’s part of a distinct look.
Bandeau bikinis: Best for the booblicious. Not actually street wear.
Pointy toes: None of the examples are extreme or ugly. Now, the full-crotch trousers on Girl #1 need burning…
“Fake” nails: Even if they are real, I can’t see how they’re practical past a certain length. That said, I use my hands my way, you use yours your way, maybe you’ve worked around it.
High-waisted jeans: No on the mom jean variant.
High-waisted shorts: I just don’t like shorts.
High-waisted skirts: Cute and comfy and you will tear them out of my cold, dead hands. That said, I have a high waist. It’s just… where a skirt hits on me when it fits correctly.
Fold-over ankle boots: Did not know this was a thing.
Ultra-high heels: None of these examples are fair to the category. Some of us can walk in heels you deem too high. Trust me.
Pantsuits: Best when they actually fit. Not my thing, but some gorgeous creatures can do them.
Drop-crotch pants: Only suitable as garb or under a skirt in winter as bloomers.
Hair bows: I can’t.
Bangles: I literally can’t; if it goes on over my hand, it will probably fall back off. Quirk of anatomy.
Oversized sweaters: I love them to some extent. Drape is brilliant. Looking like you’re hiding an unwanted pregnancy… no.
Mullet dresses: I always want to hack off the back.
Leggings: I’m 1.5m tall. Even if my legs are long for my height, they’re bloody short for most trousers, and what fits in my waist is still sized for a supermodel in the legs! I have a few decent pairs of jeans from the kids’ section. That’s it. So leggings are great whenever I can get away with them.
Shoulder pads: Only on Lady Gaga.


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