your face is (not) a mess

These days I seem to be getting this makeup thing right! Huh, how ’bout that. I don’t wear much, because I need to get skincare under control before I attempt foundation on a large scale; I am super dry, and I flake in my T-zone. That said, with all the weird that happens in my body, my skin is staying unusually clear, so I must be treating it well.

Thus, a makeup post. Now, I’m super awkward on video (anyone who has Skyped or Hungout with me knows this). Also, I get into a sentence and puns appear. I’ll throw in a couple of selfies in case y’all are curious as to what I look like now and what I’ve looked like in the past.

( let’s go )

First things first. I do not use foundation. Like I said, I’m really, really dry, and I always look powdery even though what I have is technically a heavily-tinted moisturizer. Powder? Maybe a dab if I’m looking shiny in the nose, always translucent. Just swab it on with a kabuki brush, well-tapped. So much for that.

What I do instead is go in under my eyes and cover the hell out of my baggage.


I have had undereye bags probably since I was old enough to care what those were. Middle school was brutal, you guys. Solution: that foundation I don’t use anywhere else? Turns out it gives me enough coverage for the bags, plus it makes a great eye primer. Boom. I’ll use a beauty blender if I feel like it, but a small, dense brush does just as well.


And lo. I still look humanish. I don’t look like I’ve been up for three days straight, like I normally would. I don’t have to care as much when I’m wearing my glasses, either; they do hide a lot. It’s just that selfies hardly ever feature glasses because of glare.

What else am I doing right in that shot? Well, for the first time in many years, I’m wearing mascara! I do okay without it, but with it I can play more with eyeliner. Two things that help: wiggle that brush up from the roots (coating the undersides — took me too long to learn THAT) and let it dry before putting on my glasses. I used to have issues with mascara getting on my glasses. Turns out a little drying time works wonders, and probably formulas have improved since the last time I bothered.

Also, that white waterline. I have sleepy eyes. I never line outside the waterline, and I never go dark. This gives me a little extra perk. I can go to town on top, but on the bottom, I leave well enough alone. I have been told by more than one person that I look like something out of anime, or a doll, which is awesome because I prefer a fresh look to a majorly smoky one.

passable selfie

Like here. I’ve dragged out all my eyeliner tricks — and then I’ve popped a bit of a light, flattering shade on my eyelids, hooded though they be, plus I went over my eyeliner with deep purple shadow on a damp sponge-tip brush. Boom. I don’t wing because like I said, hooded eyelids. I look even droopier with a wing. My eyes are long enough that lining the natural length does the job. My eyelashes will do the rest. Sometimes I’ll pop a neutral-dark shade in the crease, when I’m feeling ~dramatic~. That’s it.

You can sort of see what I do with bronzer: I wear it on the bottom half of the cheekbone, and with neutral-warm skin, nobody really notices I didn’t bother with blush. This is also why my favorite neutral shade has such an orange-tan tone: it suits me. I can do some pinks, but for the most part I’m best off doing a warm lip. I avoid fuchsias and deeper pinks unless I really want to stand out! In this shot I’ve borrowed one of Kimberly Clark’s tricks and dabbed a little bit of champagne shimmer eyeshadow on my lips before topping everything off with clear gloss.


And when it’s time to bare my face again, I get out the cold cream. Y’all. This stuff. If you have fussy skin, use cold cream. Be careful around your eyes because holy sting, Batman, but yeah. Cold cream. My skin loves it. My skin has loved it since my theatre days, maybe because harsh stuff breaks me out and dries me out, weird but true. If you want to exfoliate, use cold cream with a rough towel. Otherwise, just… smooth it on, work it around, and wipe it back off. I’m fond of cotton rounds. This is especially awesome if you are too freaking lazy to remember to use lotion on your face. Nice dose of moisture, mmm.

There! The sum total of my makeup yeses, laid out for you. If you want to learn more about your own makeup needs and wants, I suggest hitting up YouTube. Kimberly Clark and Stephanie Lange are my two very-favorites, plus all the vintage fifties and sixties tutorials out there. I have learned some cool stuff from the past. If it’s good enough for Grandma, right?

Go forth and experiment, ye who love makeup as much as I do.

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