and jupiter aligns with mars

On a whim, I checked out Safira Nygaard’s video about dressing according to your star sign. I saw a lot of myself in her outfit choices! Unfortunately, she’s a Cancer with Aquarius ascendant. I’m a double Pisces, Libra rising, and oh boy. Oh boy. This could get weird.

According to the video, it’s a toss-up as to whether you go with your rising sign or your birth sign. Your rising sign is supposed to represent your outward presentation, but a lot of your core is meant to be represented in your birth sign. No clue what having a sun and moon in the same sign says about that, of course.

Fine, Google. Let’s get it on. Several takes on what I’m supposed to wear, both as a Pisces and a Libra.

1. College Fashion [ Pisces ] [ Libra ]

First of all, I’m a little old to be stalking College Fashion for my style tips, but on the other hand I still look about 22 and I am going back to school in a month. That said? I have to disappoint CF here. You could ostensibly coax me, in summer, into the unstructured slate blue flowy top, and I own black jeans and black heels. I’d even give the earrings and the cuff a try. But the other half of their recommendations falls so flat. Sea-green is not my colour. Neither is plum. I am not wearing a sweetly youthful dress that combines the two — with a sash, what the hell. I would never pair a cool-toned neutral shoe with that shade of sea-green. And there is no way in hell I’m wearing a gold fishy ring. It’s too cutesy. Also, that mass of scrunched-up fabric cannot possibly be a handbag. What.

Okay. Libra. What do they say about Libra? — See, this is more like it. Ivory, pink, light blue. I am down with this. “They are very fashion-conscious and always try to look their best, but would never be caught dead looking too flashy or gaudy… This sign strives to find the perfect balance between casual and glamorous, without breaking the bank.” That’s me! And so are these looks, oh my heart. Pale coral tunic, white trousers, light brown wedges (we’ll ignore the fact that I am not a clutch person). Blousy satiny tee in sable brown, classic black pencil skirt, black heels, unobtrusive accessories. Yes. Yes. Give it to me.

One point so far for following your ascendant.

2. Who What Wear [ all signs here ]

Pisces first: Ooh, that’s too frou-frou. The pencil skirt is the wrong pink for me, the jacket details make the sleeves look like they’re peeling away from the shoulders, and what is up with that mass of fabric crinkled and crumpled into a shirt and belted around that poor woman’s waist? WWW says pastels, I say sometimes. And I would not be caught dead in the recommended seafoam tee-shirt minidress (with absolutely no cling! Come on, I’m subtle enough in the hips as it is!) or the deeply impractical gold chevron striped miniskirt.

Libra next: Okay, so they gave me Gwyneth Paltrow to work with in this shot. I love the slate blue here. I don’t love the fact that it’s a slate blue satin sack held up by some very flimsy-looking cordage. I note again that pink, blue, and white are considered the purview of Libras. Apparently we are all about soft and luxe, which, yes. Classic and feminine I can also dig. I appreciate the… pewter-green? silky camisole, though those tend to fit all wrong because I have baby boobs. The flared twill dress in kitten-nose pink looks too young by virtue of the drop waist; pull the skirt up to the natural waist and let it fall naturally to about the knee, you’ve still got classic and feminine and now you look grown-up.

Two points for ascendant. Nothing so far for birth sign.

3. InStyle [ all signs here ]

InStyle keeps it short, which is sweet. Apparently I’m meant to love froufrou as a Pisces, long sigh. Here’s an open secret: I loathe most frou. These days I prefer to keep it simple. Don’t give me fluffy trims or lace overlays. Give me classic silhouettes and fabrics that won’t die in the washing machine. Again the Libra example is Gwyneth Goopy Paltrow and no? It’s like Brazil exploded all over her top half? And how does she sit in that skirt? The suggested blouse is similar to something I once owned: a black camisole underneath a black sheer top, lots of ruffles. Since it no longer suited me, I gave it to my foster niece to appreciate. Personally, I’d have swapped the Libra for the Virgo because hell yes to everything about that recommendation. Love the patterned boots, the blue trench, the interesting striped skirt/dress underneath. Nothing “too flashy or trendy”.

So, that’s two for ascendant, one for completely different sign, and still none for birth sign.

4. Harper’s Bazaar… on rising signs! [ all signs here ]

So I guess the Bazaar actually consulted an astrologist when they thought about pairing zodiac with fashion. Respect. I’m going to skip straight to Libra, then. Bonus for NO pictures, just what my style should say about me. Look, I’m just going to slap this down and call it a win because it is so dead on.

An artistic, gracious, socially conscious sign, you are active and outwardly focused while engaging with the world. A peaceful environment is necessary to maintain equilibrium. Beauty, diplomacy and intimate relationships are your allies. Libra loves to be social. Ruled by Venus you have a deep need for beauty, so to feel comfortable you must feel coordinated. Whatever form that takes, whether jeans and T-shirt or evening glamour, you dress for yourself, but care what others think. You aim to be appropriate with your fashion choices. Goddess Venus is Libra’s ruler and the position of Venus in the chart is important.

YES. YES. YES. This is Silk Hiding Steel growing up into Iron Lady who doesn’t give a hoot. This is “I could never venture out of the house in something absurd, what are you smoking”. The astrologist got me perfectly right.

Let us look no further, then. Rising sign for the win, sit your butt down, fishies.

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