I guess you’ve noticed a change, huh? So have I. A bunch of changes. To the point that the archives of this blog feel like history rather than recent past.
I believe in the value of history, so what I won’t do is delete this blog or its contents and start over. But I’m no longer the Cass who started it or the Woderose who jumped in there. When both your mundane and SCAdian names have changed, maybe you have to look at yourself differently.
don’t know why
i held onto something
that’s been broken for so long
There’s a disconnect in my head about who this blog is really about. Is it about the person I’m healing into? What parts of it are relevant? What do I want you to see? What do I want to look back on, when I reread it? Would I blog more often if I weren’t laden with so much past? What about that past bears exploring?
There’s also a disconnect between what I want to read and what’s being written. Maybe I’m a terrible Googler, but I can’t find very many everyday-life blogs by liberal Christians. There’s lots of “This is the issue today and we must dissect it” out there! And I’m sure that has its place! But where are the women who don’t write sermons? Where are the women who just want to talk about how we navigate the boring bits? Or the broken bits? Where are the women who don’t have book deals?
(I mean, I could probably make something coherent out of the last nine years of writing, but the memoir market’s a little flooded and anyway my first love is fiction.)
I don’t want my personal blogosphere to be an onslaught of Very Special Episodes. That’s what Twitter is for. So I guess if I want to read it, I have to write it. Yes, a VSE now and then, but more than that. A reminder that a candle is lit, not only to show God I’m here but to show you that you are not alone in your daily everything. Coming soon to a platform near you.
Until then, maybe time to contemplate this space and what it was for me. What it became. What it is now and what I will take with me. And to draw a line here, underneath who I was before this year of renewal. Selah. “Pause, and think of that.”