Unexpected One-Liners

september ’02

♥ [priorities, priorities:] Want that damn trenchcoat from Old Navy. Also want boyfriend but can live without one. Can’t live without trenchcoat.

december ’03

♥ 77. WHAT’S THE BEST ADVICE GIVEN TO YOU?: “When in danger, when in doubt, run in circles, scream, and shout.” – F.A.
♥ 89. WHAT TIME IS IT IN ALBANIA NOW?: Late?

march ’07

♥ Does anybody else think poor Jarndyce was admitting that he couldn’t get it up?
♥ Am 45 minutes from officially being able to buy Tim martinis.
♥ “The war can still be won.” If my drugs were that good, I’d be cured.
♥ Nearly 1am in the weed-choked lawn of bad and worse.
♥ This Midsomer place has a higher murder rate than Rochester.
♥ [on moving to Ireland] Dad says, “It’s like this: They’ll ask me, ‘Why does your wife have a different accent than yourself and your daughter?’ and I’ll say ‘She comes from a different county.’ And when they ask ‘What county would that be?’, why, I’ll tell ’em ‘Bavaria’.”

may ’08

♥ …Kara Thrace, the Angel Moroni? WTF?
♥ [from my to-do list] Work on the FLDS buddy comedy

july ’09

♥ Simona looks like someone just crapped under her nose.
♥ I think I must have been at Glastonbury, what with all the mud and the drunk Jeremy Clarkson.

january ’11

♥ Dear anthropologists: Morocco has more than one culture.
♥ I love Figure 1.3.

february ’12

♥ Tell Mum NOT TO LET MICHA SELL, FOR FUCK’S SAKE
♥ Bank balances. What are they?
♥ …antivirus software might be a good thing

november ’12

♥ TERRY MCDERMOTT LOOKS LIKE A HOBBIT. ❤ ❤ ❤

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